Last Thursday was R U Ok day. This is a national day to remind us all to ask others about how they are feeling and open up the conversation about mental health. It got me thinking, “How do we ask the youngest members of our society, R U OK?”
As a play therapist I often tell parents and caregivers that that language communication is not what children are most fluent in. Asking kids, the question, R U OK?” may not open up a rich conversation. It may not end with us finding the truth to our query. So, how can parents, teachers and significant adults ask kids, “R U OK?” and explore childhood mental health?
For me, it requires adults to observe children and reflect on the question themselves.
Observing Children with the R U OK Question in Mind
We can use a few additional questions to investigate how children are communicating with us as we explore the question, “R U Ok?” Below are some factors that you may consider when making your observations.
Have there been big changes in the child’s behaviour? This might include observations such as:
- increased irritability and aggression
- Physical outbursts such as hitting others or oneself
- big feelings leading to emotional outbursts more frequently.
- Behaviours that appear much younger than the child’s chronological age
- withdrawing and showing less interest in activities and others
Is the child experiencing frequent challenges in social situations and peer relationships? When a child is experiencing mental health challenges, they may find it more difficult to engage in and maintain social relationships. They may become more clingy with others as they look to them for security, or they may distance themselves from others. The emotional roller-coaster they feel stuck on could also leave them engaging in more conflict within relationships that previously seemed secure.
Is the child still willingly engaging in activities they usually enjoy? Disinterest in previously favoured activities or difficulty with maintaining attention span for activities can also signify changes in the child’s wellbeing. Mental health challenges can be distracting and can often diminish the sense of motivation and pleasure we feel towards tasks and experiences.
Has the child been experiencing any difficulty sleeping? Feelings and experiences in our daytime can have an effect on our night-time habits. Changes in sleep patterns and difficulty sleeping can be signs that the child is experiencing an increase in stress levels. Additional nighttime troubles that can indicate mental health challenges in children can include ongoing nightmares and bedwetting.
Has the child been complaining of Frequent physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach-aches? IF they have, firstly get this checked out by your child’s doctor. If the doctor can identify no physical reason for the symptoms it is possible, they are signs of mental distress. Our mind and body are intricately linked. It is now acknowledged that social and emotional challenges often present themselves through physical symptoms.
Changes in physical wellness, behaviours and difficulty managing emotions can all be signs that a child is experiencing a challenge. They can be communications that the answer to the question is, “No, right now I am not OK.”
When to Seek Help
Ups and downs are a part of life and can often be overcome with support from significant adults close to the child. If signs and symptoms continue longer than a month and are affecting the child’s ability to function and engage meaningfully in their daily life, consider seeking professional assistance. A mental health professional, such as a play therapist, can help support you and your child with further strategies and approaches to resolving individual difficulties.